*Ok, lets say 'perfectly' is a loose term here...
So though a series of dubious fantasies and ideas, as described here, I decided to make my own latex bodysuit! Below is a 'how to' describing how I did it and how you can do it too! :)
You will need:
One ‘Morph-suit’ that fits you well (mine was 9% spandex- 91% polyester apparently, in case that matters)
1.5 L black liquid latex
Cling film
Talcum powder
A brush
A very understanding friend
Some plastic sheeting to stand on.
Plus if you want to customise the zippage: An extra long, double ended zip, and Needle and thread (or ideally a sewing machine!)
Warnings:
Don’t do this if you’re allergic to latex… or morph suits… or cling film… or talcum powder...or if it generally sounds like a bad idea to you, because it probably is.
Also fresh liquid latex smells super rough so do it in a well ventilated area. Plus don’t do it on a hot day because being wrapped in all that cling film and latex would clearly be a bad idea.
Step one: Test your Morph suit!
Huzzah it fits! (And I need to clean my mirror)
Add zips to taste:
I sewed my new zip in by hand and god it took forever. I watched the whole of the ‘Irishman’ and only got half way through the sewing, although I am also terrible at sewing and kept knotting the thread in annoying ways. Although I did remember to stretch the spandex as I was sewing around the butt area which gave it a pleasing curve and meant it wasn’t too tight around the crotch when I finally finished and tried it on:
Step two: cling film yo-self!
If done properly this should hopefully avoid some very painful annealing of body hair and liquid latex or permanent entrapment within painted morph suit. It is a good idea to have an assistant at this point to help cling film you, paint you with latex, and laugh at you mercilessly.
This project may in fact be entirely impossible without an assistant, I haven’t tried! Please do share any attempts in the comments though…
^Bottom half of me cling filmed and entering morph suit. Aubergines not required.
Step three: Get latexy
The first thing you discover when using liquid latex is that it smells god damned awful, or at least it does when you use the cheap black stuff I found on ebay. There may be less stinky alternatives but at a considerably higher price. Do all the latex painting in a well ventilated space, (or ideally a garden if your neighbours are understanding), and generally position your head as far away from the area being painted as possible!
For this latexing step I recommend you or your assistant uses a sacrificial paintbrush. Just dip in a pot of liquid latex and slather it on. Make sure the morph suit is as tight against the cling film as possible otherwise latex will pool behind it and be lumpier.
^Somewhere around this point we realised that my plan might actually work!
Step four: get more latexy
The spandex will soak up the liquid latex a bit so you’re going to need a couple of coats of this awful smelling liquid to get a proper latex effect. We did three coats and even then it was still a somewhat uneven surface that resulted, and not as shine-able as a proper latex suit, but the photos below will give you an idea how it might turn out.
Step five: Stand around like a muppet
Liquid latex takes time to dry, stand around for at least half an hour to make sure your suit wont re-form as a solid lump of lame after you peel it off. Also when peeling it off add talcum powder to every inner surface to stop the latex sticking to itself.
Step five B: Repeat two to five for the top half of your morph suit you were too lazy to do first time around
I cling filmed myself up to the neck this time, you really don’t want this stuff any closer to your face than that... Three coats later and a bit of drying this is what it looked like:
^ Rubber boooooi!
Step six??: Find a stand-in for your head...
Find a melon or semi deflated ball or something the size of your head… Or don’t. I didn’t. I stopped at this point because I already had a separate latex hood and I was over all the latexing. Whatever you do don’t try and paint the suit with your head inside it, you’d probably pass out from the fumes.
Step Seven: Shine yourself!
All latex needs to be shined and there are various options, I went for a Silicone spray:
(Also attached a bit of string to the zip so I could zip myself up more easily)
Ok, so the texture isn’t perfect and maybe there are a few wrinkles and making it was a total faff. However, I’ve had a few good times while wearing it at least so I declare this lock down project a success!
Special thanks to my anonymous assistant. And thanks to you for reading this far, good luck if you choose to try and walk in my rubbery footsteps and do let me know how it turns out!
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